Analyzing love

On Saturday, I saw Valentine's Day (the movie) with two friends. While I enjoyed ever bit of the cliche plot as well as the unexpected parts too--I won't ruin the ending--I still left the theater deep in thought about, you guessed it, love.

Toward the end of the movie, Jason (Topher Grace) comes running back to his girlfriend (Anne Hathaway) and tells her, "In a relationship, you have to accept the other person for all of who they are and not just the parts that are easy to like. And you're stupid if you turn your back on something as important as love."

At first, I LOVED this quote; what hopelessly romantic girl wouldn't want some guy to say this to her?

But then reality (and my skepticism) kicked in as I dissected the quote.

So wait, if you don't accept someone for all of their flaws, you're stupid for breaking it off with them and giving up on love?

Yes, I agree that it's important to accept someone for their flaws; no one is perfect. I also feel that some of the best friendships or relationships are ones in which both parties recognize and accept each other's flaws. But I guess the skeptic in me can't help but wonder, "What if he isn't right for me? If there is some major deal breaker that I stumble upon one week, one month, three months, six months, or even a year into our relationship, am I really giving up on love if I break it off?"

Over the last year, I've had a countless number of discussions with my friends--both guys and girls--about love. The conclusion we come to almost every time is that if there's one thing girls have trouble with, it's ending relationships when they really should.

Last week in my theater class, two friends were telling me about another friend of theirs--let's call her Sally--who had been dating her boyfriend--let's call him Mark--for two years. Although the couple had been dating for so long, my friend told me that Mark had cheated on Sally at least once, if not more, and that while Sally knew about it, each time Mark apologized, she forgave him and kept their relationship going.

After hearing their story, my two friends and I agreed that Sally should have dumped Mark a long time ago. However, I still find myself wondering what the writers of "Valentine's Day" would have to say about a situation like this. Would Sally be giving up on love?

What about another friend of mine, who, after her last break up, admitted that she always overlooks her boyfriends' flaws, even when some of them are major deal breakers that should immediately set off that "break up" signal in her head? What would the writers of "Valentine's Day" tell her if she tried to justify her actions with Jason's quote on acceptance?

Some characters, like Kara (Jessica Biel) and Kelvin (Jamie Foxx), expressed their distaste for the commercialized holiday that forces people to give their loved ones flowers, candy or expensive gifts in order to prove their love. But even these characters fall in love by the end of the movie and seem like they're starting to buy into the V-Day hype.

I think that the writers of "Valentine's Day" should've taken a hint from the writers of "He's Just Not That Into You." While some of the couples in "He's Just Not That Into You" did stay together and end up living happily ever after, other characters, like Janine (Jennifer Connelly), found that same happiness on their own.

Once again I'd like to reiterate that I'm not saying that every woman should break up with her boyfriend if he does just one thing wrong. However, if she stumbles upon one of those deal breaking qualities, she should end the relationship; there's no use in wasting time on someone whose actions she has to justify or someone she wouldn't normally see herself with.

She'll find "The One" and her happily ever after soon enough, but in the mean time, she should enjoy everything else she has going for her, whether its her career, education, or time with friends and family. Because, as they say, you stumble upon love when you least expect it; there's a reason they call it "falling in love."